As I travel on this journey to freedom, I am changing…evolving. I am being pulled into areas of growth, deliverance and healing. One of these areas is my health. I know that I cannot keep on the path I am on with regards to my health. I know that things have to change….and I have been asking the Lord what do I need to do.

My health must take priority. Losing weight, healing, deliverance and so on must be dealt with. After more prayer and research, I felt lead to use Intermittent Fasting as my approach toward losing weight, breaking bondage’s and healing. I am a binge eater. I have realized that more these past few weeks than ever before.

After my grandmother went into the nursing home it brought a sizable decrease in household income. It also brought a sizable decrease in available food. It meant that I had to admit that I am a binge eater and that this needs to be dealt with.

I have felt lead to fast for a while now but as a binge eater…I couldn’t even begin to think of life without food…even for an hour! This is an area of my life that is not surrendered to the Lord no matter how much I tried to deceive myself into thinking it was. Food is a crutch, an emotional comfort, a prison to me. That needs to change.

The Lord has been waiting for me to get in line with what He wants to do but I have been rebellious. I have not wanted to give up my source of false comfort….I have not wanted to change and let God overshadow me.

I realize that I am scared of losing me as I allow God to take my life, overshadow it, remake it and heal me. I am scared of God and change…so I remain in bondage. As I step out more into ministry, these things have to go. I can’t expect ministry to be effective if I am not walking the talk!

So….changes come……and Lord, help me completely surrender to you.

I have noticed in the past couple of weeks that I am evolving….changing….finding myself. It’s scary. There are so many things going in my life right now that it terrifies me.

Doors are opening for ministry opportunities….but then there are doors that are swinging as if trying to decide which way to go. There is a situation in my life right now that is a swinging door. The situation could fizzle and life goes on…but then the situation could have a decision for the worst with severe consequences…and here I am….waiting for the outcome. It is out of my hands. It is done and I can’t change it…although every day that passes, I wish I could.

It is a strange feeling to know that your life and everything that is happening in it is swinging on the balance beam. Will it go this way or that? We just have to wait and see.

Is it amazing how life sometimes brings you back full circle?

When I started planning the website and the YouTube channel, I knew it was going to focus on health and healing, but somewhere along the way, I got sidetracked. Other things happened, lessons had to be learned and some things needed to be brought out into the open.

Here it is…10 months later, and I am back at the beginning…being drawn to minister, share and learn about health and healing. Maybe it is because I am on a journey to freedom…and part of being free, for me, is freedom from fat.

Oh, I can wrapped in “pretty” language and call it:

Pleasing plump

Obesity

Curvy

Voluptuous

Big and Beautiful

Or whatever….but people let’s get real – fat is fat and it is always going to be fat, and I am miserable in my fat!

It has to change. I am not ready to die, and maybe that is why I am being brought full circle. Back to the beginning. Back to health and healing topics from a Christian viewpoint. We’ll see how this goes…..